2 July 2023
To be honest I have always felt destroyed by the sounds of loudspeakers. And the non-musical noise doesn't help. I am an atheist and also perhaps a bit too wicked for temples and places of worship have always made me uncomfortable. Still, I am in this temple being dragged by my friend and on my birthday no less.
I am afraid of offending anyone's sentiments. However, I am missing parts of the soul that would make me join in. I also don't know the lyrics of prayer songs that follow, need for slogans calling victory for omnipotent gods and the lesson to be learnt from the beautiful little story the stage singer told in between prayer songs.
I envy those people I can see, mostly men (the rows of women start a bit further away) who are swirling their heads to the music that I didn't enjoy for most part except in the end when it was just repetition of a single word 'Radhe' (which I honestly enjoyed). They are at home here and thus enviable. I don't think that can be said for others though. Most of them just seem still as lost here as I myself probably would. As if they came here with vague conception of finding peace here but only found confusion.
Still, I envy those few few swirling their heads and chanting 'Radhe' repeatedly. The catharsis they must have got - it is reminiscent of the way music has made me feel often though only when alone. I'm not sure the reiteration of the name has any religious importance but these people sure seem to enjoy it and get filled with ecstasy. If it gives people such fulfilment and delight, why should its religious importance matter?
I wish they were superficial as that sole man trying to record the stage singer on his smart phone camera. I guess I must appear (perhaps rightly) as superficial one here as one of the few on their phones.
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