Sidharth Vardhan

Modern Adventures of Baron Munchausen – Part 1

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It is, you see, difficult to stay connected with old friends. That is why I once created this website where you could find and meet your old friends. I was in a good mood that day and since it hardly took me an hour to create it, so I gave it to this young boy – try as I may, I can’t recall his name Mark something, he was pissed off after his GF broke with him. I can’t recall his last name zuck … berger … bug…

Anyway I wouldn’t have mentioned it if this same website was not used by some of my enemies to exaggerate my little powers and thus ridicule them. If there is one thing I can’t tolerate – it is deviation, even slightest deviation from truth. One of them said that I once lifted an anaconda with a single hand to save a child in its grip and threw the beast away. It is such a stupid lie – How can people believe that? I could barely lift the animal with both my hands.

Anyway it spoiled my mood and I happened to be presiding this interplanetary conference that day. When representatives of Pluto (they are yellow-orange color, medium-sized, short-haired dogs with black ears having particular love for rats) were five minutes late…. I confess my anger was unjust but what happened is what happened – and now, Pluto is no longer a planet.

I could have cooled down but for a while the queen of England; she knows me from when I sold a lock of my hair to end the last economic depression; was pestering me over which president should her people chose next. People just can’t understand that I have more important things to do. In frustration, I told her to just go for the last one again. I think she did.

I have no time to follow the news in all my universe-saving endeavors. Just last week, my good friend Doctor Who (I once mended his toy machine TARDIS) visited me to ask my help in saving a planet in a galaxy, name of which can’t be pronounced in Earth’s atmosphere.

All this work makes one moody. Even now I was planning to give a speech which would have ended all the evil in the world and make Earth a heaven but I have changed my plan since my pizza was no good (I’m tired of you lesser mortals) and my date Jennifer Aniston is late.. She says she is twenty two but I highly doubt that. Women often hide their age around me. Anyway she was a big letdown after Marilyn Monroe and … Venus. And, don’t even ask me about Helen. Ah! those were the days – specially when Greeks fought with Troy believing she ran away with Paris!


The series first started as the review of the book ‘The Adventures of Baron Munchausen’. Find link to the complete series here and more of my fiction here.

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